Liberty is Letting Go

By Vernie Lynn DeMille

 

Today I’ve been pondering and wrapping my mind around an idea of freedom that I’ve never had before. I’ve been contemplating the power of letting go; what it really means, and how I can actually do it. I’ve been wondering how I can let go of hurt, how I can let go of abuse of trust, how I can let go of neglect, harsh words, gossip, being ignored, rejection or condemnation handed to me by others

 

In the past I’ve always viewed someone’s rejection of me as a sign that I need to work harder, that I need to improve, that I need to keep changing until they find me acceptable, or at least tolerable. (I’d like to throw this in here, as an aside, that thinking like that just sucks, to think that I’ve spent my life trying to be “tolerable” is crap and I am so done with that thinking.) But today I feel differently. So what changed my thinking? I read a social media posts this morning  and it totally knocked me over. It completely flattened my thinking, and as I’m slowly finding my breath again I am seeing an entirely new world in front of me.

 

Choose Wise Fights

 

Here’s a link to the post: https://m.facebook.com/dana.ives.37/posts/2425754984107837?d=m

 

And here is what the author, Dana Ives, said:

 

“I once asked a very successful woman to share her secret with me. She smiled and said to me..

“I started succeeding when I started leaving small fights for small fighters.

I stopped fighting those who gossiped about me…

I stopped fighting with my in laws…

I stopped fighting for attention…

I stopped fighting to meet people’s expectation of me…

I stopped fighting for my rights with inconsiderate people..

I stopped fighting to please everyone…

I stopped fighting to prove they were wrong about me….

I left such fights for those who have nothing else to fight…

And I started fighting for

my vision,

my dreams,

my ideas and

my destiny.

The day I gave up on small fights is the day I started becoming successful & so much more content.”

Some fights are not worth your time….. Choose what you fight for wisely.”

 

Where Do I Begin? Know Where My Heart Is

 

You see, I’ve struggled with fighting small fights for years because my vision, my mission, my WORK is all about helping people. It’s why I’m HERE. It’s my personal mission, given to me time and again through multiple experiences. It’s been witnessed to me that I was born for hard times. I’m led often to opportunities where I can comfort and encourage people through the difficult times they face; to help them remember that difficulty isn’t all there is, that sorrow is the flip side of joy and we have the power to turn it around, that connections of the heart require a submission of pride to love. But even with knowing my mission I have been so hurt by the lack of consideration others have, wounded by their unkind words, and blown off course by their harsh criticisms. Sometimes it’s confusing, when my work is helping people, to know where my mission begins and the other person’s mission, choices, work, etc. ends. 

 

This morning I see the world differently. I’m finally understanding this truth: how someone else receives me, my thoughts, and my words is an indication of where THEIR heart is at, not a statement of where MY heart is. I am in charge of my own heart. I can learn from others, I can improve my communication skills, I can take away tools from every interaction I have with others, even the negative ones; and I can see clearly that their capacity or incapacity to give and receive love is about THEM, not about ME.

 

 

Give What is Mine

 

Liberty is understanding what is mine to give. Liberty is understanding that someone else’s actions and words are not something I’m required to pick up. Liberty is knowing that my ability to offer love is not limited by the closure of someone else’s heart. My willingness to offer understanding to someone else, is not decreased by their unwillingness to accept understanding or to share it in return. Another person’s betrayal of my trust does not make me untrustworthy. Someone else’s decision to isolate themselves does not make me any less of a friend. An individual’s choice to see and hear only what they want to does not make me blind or deaf to my own observations and truths.

 

Liberty truly is letting go. 

 

Liberty is letting go of someone else’s expectations. 

          Hold yourself to your own dreams instead.

Liberty is letting go of someone else’s disregard. 

          Focus on strengthening your own integrity.

Liberty is letting go of someone else’s closed heart. 

          The love you give isn’t dependant upon anyone else’s receptivity.

Liberty is letting go of someone else’s fear. 

          Your courage is all you need to begin your mission.

Liberty is letting go of someone else’s anger. 

          Your peace of mind comes from your own heart, regardless of someone else’s bitterness. 

Liberty is letting go of taking responsibility for someone else’s choice. 

          Accept responsibility for your own actions, and choose to help others where you can.

Liberty is letting go of another person’s confusion.

          Help people by standing in your strength, not by wallowing with them in their worry.

 

You Are Free

 

This morning I feel like Kirk Maynard Gull, a seagull with a lame wing, from the book, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, by Richard Bach. Maynard Gull scratched out a living on the ground because of his brokenness, but he still dreamed of flight. He dreamed of soaring through the clouds, out over the waves of the ocean. If you’ve never read the book I urge you to pick it up. Today. Right now if possible.

 

Here is an excerpt that has always moved me with it’s simplicity and truth:

 

————–

The next night from the Flock came Kirk Maynard Gull, wobbling across the sand, dragging his left wing, to collapse at Jonathan’s feet. “Help me,” he said very quietly, speaking in the way that the dying speak. “I want to fly more than anything else in the world . . . ” 

 

“Come along then,” said Jonathan. “Climb with me away from the ground, and we’ll begin.”

 

“You don’t understand. My wing. I can’t move my wing.”

 

“Maynard Gull, you have the freedom to be yourself, your true self, here and now, and nothing can stand in your way. It is the Law of the Great Gull, the Law that Is.”

 

“Are you saying I can fly?”

 

“I say you are free.”

 

As simply and as quickly as that, Kirk Maynard Gull spread his wings, effortlessly, and lifted into the dark night air. The Flock was roused from sleep by his cry, as loud as he could scream it, from five hundred feet up; “I can fly! Listen! I CAN FLY!” (pg. 110-111)

———————-

 

Let me add my testimony also: we are free. Sometimes change takes a lifetime, and sometimes it comes in an instant.

 

We are free to be full of love no matter who is full of fear. Free to be kind no matter who has been unkind to us. Free to be compassionate no matter who has hurt our hearts. Free to chase our dreams no matter who has told us that they are impossible, that we’re too old,  too fat, too skinny, too young, not capable, too much, or not enough. Let go of the lies that belong to someone else. Take hold of the truth of your liberty. Don’t let anyone else put a bushel over you, your light, your brilliance, or your illumination. Your light is needed in this world.  We are all necessary. YOU are necessary.

 

We are FREE.

 

Shine bright, beautiful. Shine bright, soar high, be free.