Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad

I will be turning 51 this year, but my story really began fifty-four years ago on Valentine’s Day, 1970.

The black and white photo shows my mom and dad at the Oakland, California temple, on their wedding day. It was the second marriage for both of them; one a widower, one a divorcee, with 9 children between them. They had both been through so much at that point. Tragedy, loss, love, disappointment, disillusionment, goals achieved, dreams lost, abuse, compassion, regret, joy, fear, and uncertainty. Through all of it, they kept their hope and faith in God alive, and on February 14, 1970 they made a promise to one another, and each made a promise to Heavenly Father, that they would hold fast to one another in that hope and faith.

That decision, to build their relationship on something bigger than just the two of them, set the foundation for the next four and a half decades of their lives.

I love seeing my parents in that old, newly married photo. I am now older than both of them were when it was taken. I love looking at the joy on their faces. I can look backwards and see what lies ahead of those two people so deeply in love. With the gift of hindsight I can see where they got things wrong and where they got things beautifully right.

Humans have struggled with both faith and what to do with it for millenia. Our search or rejection of God, paired with the simultaneous following or ignoring of His counsel, and our own incomplete knowledge and understanding of what “good” looks like, means that we make mistakes, get things wrong, accidentally leave important things out, intentionally do things that should have been left behind, and muddle our way forward the best we can. We live in that part of existence we call “mortality”, where we try and try, but at the end of the day still require love, grace, repentance, and forgiveness to cover the multitude of mistakes that we make while doing our best. That part of my parent’s marriage, the part where they made promises to God as well as each other, was the foundation, glue, and strength that united our family together. No matter where each of us has been, is going, believes or rejects, the covenant that tied mom and dad to each other and a divinity that reached beyond their own capacities, also tied my siblings and I to one another. That bond continues to this day, though mom and dad have both been gone for over 5 years. How grateful I am for their choice, and for their efforts to be true to it always.

The picture of them dancing and smiling into each other’s eyes is how I remember them. They loved each other with all they had. I believe in God, and in life after death, and I believe that the love we nurture in this life stays with us as we go. Their love was a bright light in my childhood, and it is a light in my heart still today.

Happy Anniversary, mom and dad. ❤️